The Prudent Student

As a little girl, I was never entertained with the thought of becoming a college student. Both of my parents had never been college students so I was never encouraged nor was I pressured to become one. After I became a mother I desperately wanted to pursue a higher education. Prior to attending college, I knew deep in my heart that I had a passion for both children and writing, so I decided I wanted to become a middle school teacher. On this journey through college I have learned things about myself that I feel I would have never known had I not decided to attend. I enjoy history more than I thought I would and I realize that I probably shouldn’t plan to become a chemist anytime soon. I’ve also felt lost and confused about some of the important choices I’ve had to make.

In the fabulous blog “What Would You Say to a High School Student Who Feels Lost and Controlled by Family?” by Ellen Bremen, she responds to a teenager who feels confused about what steps to take in his near future. It has been traditionally known in his family to let the elders decide which career and college decisions that the younger ones should make, so that it would ultimately provide them with a good living. He wants to attend community college but his family does not want him to, as if that dilemma wasn’t enough he also has no sense of direction as far as careers go. The closer he is getting to graduating the more he realizes that he wants to be able to live his own life for himself but doesn’t want to become disowned for it. Bremen encourages him to find someone he can trust to help him unravel some of his decision making. She also suggests many other ways he can go about handling the problematic situation he’s in.

To start off, I like how Bremen purposes some seemingly better alternative routes as far as choosing a school goes. She suggests that maybe he could start out at a community college to take his core classes, that way he would still have time to figure out what career path may fit him. She also mentions that maybe exploring his family’s recommendations of choosing a university may not be such a bad idea. Even with Bremen being a community college professor I like how she does not make one idea sound better than the other and avoids sounding biased with any of her advice. If I didn’t already know who she was I would have assumed she was just giving some open-minded advice. I find it helpful how she also mentions that he finds some “trusted ones” such as a counselor or a teacher, that can walk with him on his journey and give him reliable advice.

Of course, I feel like she would love to continue to help him; however, I think she believes that it would be better if he had someone to talk to face to face instead of virtually. I understand where she’s coming from with this because you can’t sense the emotion behind the text on a screen as much as you can by sitting in someone else’s presence. You also can’t get into real depth; your time is more limited when it is being shared over blogs and other people’s questions. I have personally found her advice not only to be helpful but also reassuring that my choice of college was not to be looked “down” upon, but a good alternative route as far as saving tons of money goes. Although I know what I want to do with my life, there are still times where I am not sure if it is the right fit for me, her mentioning that you have a bit more time to figure out what path you want to go down has eased some anxiety. I’m not just going to run off and choose a different career, however, I’m glad she has informed not only the young man but her audience as well.

One of the other things that really gained my respect for her and this article was her ability to show authenticity and empathy to the young man and her readers. Bremen’s tone was helpful because she came off as someone easy to talk to, I felt like I knew her. Her tone is welcoming and made me feel as if we were just two friends having coffee at a local coffee shop and she was there to listen and communicate her honest advice and wisdom. Bremen could have easily came across as someone who talked at you instead of to you, or even someone who had an extremely judgmental tone but instead she kept an even tone. What I find so interesting is that this blog was written about 3 months after I graduated high school, almost 5 years ago. This means that me and the boy that Bremen is writing to are the same age and went through very similar emotions during such a crucial time in our lives. I wish I could have come across this article much sooner, it could have answered a lot of questions I had at the time as well. Bremen genuinely seemed concerned for the boy and his future, you could sense the compassion behind what she was trying to say. What really struck me was the tone in what she said when she mentioned, “you can tell your family that you’re willing to explore their options, but you’re going to move forward and investigate on your own, too.” If I were the one writing to him instead of Bremen, I picture myself being a little less considerate of his family’s feelings and more for doing what was best for him regardless of what anyone else thought. Bremen conveys this message too, for all I know she could have felt like me and wanted to vaguely tell him to do his own thing; however, the way she dressed her words up came across as kind and professional.

This article has helped me to consider other loved one’s perspectives, not that I should base my important decisions off what other people think and want, but now I’m a little more opened to exploring other ideas besides my own. I believe I am going to enjoy my college walk a little more, her insight has shown me a new appreciation for the ones who have stuck by my side through every decision I’ve made. It has even shown me that I also want to be here for other kids who are going through some tough times and need a voice to guide them. Everyone is going to come to a point when they need help whether they’re a college student or a high school student, it is never too late to seek support.